Only so many times
Account Graham's blog
People have been talking!
Whispers in the kitchen at work and conversations behind closed doors!
What has happened to Graham's Blog? Why has he not been updating it? Is he actually going to keep us in the dark, after all he promised?
Well, no I am not, but it gets a bit boring saying the same thing week after week…. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to bring everyone up to date. (Ok I will admit that it is a bit of an exaggeration about the whispered conversations and stuff).
I have just looked back at the last post and seen that it is a warning about spam emails, and that the last cancer update was from the 6th October. That puts it just over six weeks ago, in the middle of Cycle 3. I am almost in the same part of Cycle 5 at the moment. Looking back over the changes in symptoms over the cycles I guess it has been like this.
Cycle 1 and Cycle 2 were relatively easy (albeit with a minor wobble at the end of Cycle 1). The symptoms were relatively innocuous and not too trying. The pins and needles pretty much disappeared after 36 or 48 hours and did not trouble me after that.
With Cycle 3 and Cycle 4 there was a step change. The symptoms themselves were not particularly worse, but rather they lasted much longer. The pins and needles lasted pretty much a full week, before they disappeared. There was also the insomnia that appeared during the first week along with constipation. I thought that this was brought on by the steroids that I take during that first week of the cycle, but after talking to the nurses and the consultant (more of this later) last week, it looks like this is caused by a different drug – one (one tablet) that I take once a cycle, just before the hospital visit. It seems to have a massive effect on my system – not just these symptoms, but it also affects my moods.
I am noticing that I am more short tempered. I find that I have to bite my tongue when people don't or can't see things my way. This is definitely not anyone else's fault. People are not any more obtuse or stupid that week – it is all me. I try not to take it out on the kids, but I guess that every now and again a bit trickles out.
The other thing that I notice is a bit harder to describe. I seem to be detached from reality at times. I see things as though through a tunnel, or a pair of binoculars. Time seems to slow down and my reactions seem to be much more pointed and precise. No one else has mentioned this so I am assuming that this is just my (heightened, over-active) imagination.
I don't want to make this seem more worrying than it actually is. This tends to affect me during this first week of the cycle and disappears after that. It lasts for about tem or fifteen minutes and probably twice or three times during the week, although it is cumulative over the cycles.
At the beginning of Cycle 5 I had an appointment with my Oncologist. Actually, I only met Dr Phillips for about two minutes before I started the chemo and haven't seen him since. That sounds very stand-offish, but I transferred to his care just before the start of the course – I had been under a different consultant at the Western, before coming under Dr Phillips at SJH.
Anyway, I had an appointment about a week ago. He asked a few questions that did shed a bit of light on the way I have been feeling and reacting. It's Official – the general outlook is good – my symptoms are at the mild end of the spectrum and I am reacting well so far. He asked me if my appetite had changed, and looking back at it I guess that it has. In particular, I think I have developed a sweet tooth (or more of a sweet tooth), but I think the steroids have increased my appetite anyway – again, I know I was not a particular nibbler – more of a grazer I suppose, but I think I am still eating more.
Cycle 5 is about half way through. Again the pins and needles are back and probably another step change from Cycles 3 / 4, although not as big a step as the one between Cycles 2 and 3. They are still affecting me just now, although almost gone, but this is day 9 / 10. My hands have also been tenderer, and I have had to go and buy slippers, much to my disgust. We have laminate floors and I can feel the pins and needles in my feet in the mornings.
I am grateful to Ian Wallace, who has been taking me to work in the mornings, when it has been cold. This has been really helpful and makes life easier for me, although not necessarily for him, since I have dragged him away from work to take me home in the middle of the day.
Now for a slight change. One of the reasons for writing this was to help other cancer sufferers, particularly ColoRectal cancer. Colorectal cancer is the third most common type of cancer in the UK, after Breast cancer and Lung cancer. Having said that I have not heard, until recently, of anyone else who has been diagnosed with this cancer. As it happens, I heard of a relative of one of Helens' work colleagues who is about to start her treatment. She is older than me (about 60) and lives over in the west. She has had virtually the same operation as I had and is about to start pretty much the same chemo. I don't know if she will ever read this, but I would like to think that other sufferers will and will feel stronger for it.
As part of that I decided to find out other people who have (or had) colorectal cancer. Probably the highest profile person is Sharon Osbourne. I knew she had survived cancer, but it was only recently that I discovered that it was Colon cancer. I don't know any more than that, but there you go.
Other people are Terry Jones (from Monty Python) and Tony Snow (President Bush's press spokesman - no, I hadn't heard of him either, but he is the man who stands up and speaks for Bush) and Farrah Fawcett. Steve McQueen developed cancer from exposure to asbestos, which moved into his colon. He died of heart failure, after an operation to remove this tumour. Another person who has had a scare is Bush himself. It turns out that he had tests recently, but it was not cancer.
Life just goes on as normal. I know that people are interested in me and how I am getting on. I am very humbled by this interest – I am pretty sure that I don't deserve it but it is encouraging all the same. It does get boring saying (or writing) the same thing week after week, but I will try to keep this blog more up to date in the future.
Thanks
Graham
