Saturday 17 January 2009

10 days

Another quick post - a quiet day yesterday, did nothing, but still exhausted. I did kinda lie around all day. Most of the kids disappeared to friends or shopping in the town, so that was just as well really.

Helen was out with friends yesterday evening, so I was fighting to stay awake at the end of the day. She was down in Berwick-upon-Tweed and didn't get back until around 1.30 in the morning - dirty stop-out. It all means that I woke up as tired as I went to sleep.

Probably go for a sleep later this afternoon, but I prefer not to do that, because I am afraid that I won't get to sleep tonight.

more soon

Graham

Friday 16 January 2009

Friday - 11 days to go

(but I am not counting - honest)!!!

After being awake all night Tue - Wed, the last two nights have been fairly settled, albeit I have been worried that I would not get to sleep. In the end though I managed to get two full nights sleep. I am still waking up in the morning almost as tired as I have been going to bed, but there you go.

I have taken this week off work and I am glad that I have done so. I am not sure how I would be getting through the day. I suppose that it is not so much the during the day bit, but rather how I would feel in the evening and also by this time at the end of the week. I don't know how much I have in the way of energy reserves.

I have one more dose of the steroid to go - sometime this afternoon, For the fist four cycles I was taking it at the same time as the evening chemo dose and I that, I am not sure, was one of the main cause of my sleeplessness at night. When I saw the consultant at the half way point, he suggested that I took the steroid during the day - not quite so convenient, from a remembering point of view, but certainly better that being awake at 4 am. In general, when I have managed to do so, it has made a difference as you can see from above.

I am not looking forward to this weekend, as I come off the steroid. I think there are withdrawal symptoms from this. I am generally very tired for the weekend and into the Monday and it has really been the Tuesday of the next week before I start to feel a bit more human again, but this is the last time (just keep repeating it to yourself, Graham).

that is enough for now,
back soon

God bless

Graham

Wednesday 14 January 2009

Windows 7 beta

I have been testing the latest version of Windows recently - Windows 7, which has been released as a beta (test version), available form the Microsoft website here. It should be available for download for another week or two. I have in installed on a laptop and a desktop at the moment and have found it to be mainly stable. I have had one or two problems, mainly to do with drivers for older legacy components.

Other than that, I have found that I like the new interface. It is not ready to test as an upgrade to a working system, but if you are fortunate enough to have an older machine lying around gathering dust then it may be worth having a go with it.

It seems to be reasonably stable, and in line with Microsoft claims, does not seem to use as may resources and Vista. Perhaps this is actually vista as it should have been, as some commentators have been saying.

The laptop has a core duo (not a core 2 duo - this was before they were released) and 2GB ram. The desktop has a P4 processor, although it again has 2GB ram. As with vista the more ram that you can add the better. I think the recommended minimum for Windows 7 is 1GB and a 1GHz processor (so some PIII processors may just scrape in there, but I don't know that I would want to run Windows 7 with a PIII).

A would suggest that a more reasonable minimum would be a P4 processor (preferably a dual core P4D) or above and 2GB ram - about the same spec as my test desktop, which is quite happily streaming music from the laptop and playing it (it is using 14% processor and 36% memory).

If you do decide to take the plunge, leave some feedback.

happy testing

Graham

13 days to go

I have thirteen days of treatment left, assuming I don't miss a day by accident - which sometimes happens at the weekends when our normal routine goes to pot. I have started taking the capecitabene and the steroid drugs- and was awake until 4.30 this morning :-(

We went to see the genetics councillor today, at SHJ - and found out that her son is in Claires' music class - small world.

The main thing to come out of today is that the kids have a slightly increased risk of this, but because there is no family history apart from me, there is not a major problem. They will be offered a colonoscopy in the future - probably in their mid-thirty's so there is no rush.

I am going to get them to check my blood for a particular marker which may indicate something hereditary, but even then the kids won't need to be tested for another ten or fifteen years. I suppose that my brother and sister may be interested, so I will get them the information when it comes to me.

I have started to get the main symptoms now. I have the tingling in my hands and feet when I come into contact with anything cold, like the laminate flooring! obviously I have had problems with sleeping (caused by the steroids). I am hoping that taking the second dose in the middle of the day will mean that I don't spend the entire night awake again. I don't think I have been overly grumpy this time, but is is early days yet - that could arrive any time until the beginning of next week along with the tunnel vision and other side affects.

well, that is enough just now. I will update again tomorrow.

god bless
Graham

Tuesday 13 January 2009

The Home Straight

I meant to post this earlier this morning, but ran out of time....

I have been at St John's (SJH) today for the start of my final treatment. Hooray! It doesn't seem like six months since it all started - it seems to have flown by. I hope to post a quick post every day for the next couple of weeks (but don't hold your breath if I don't manage every day).

I guess that I have been looking forward to today for a while (approximately six months in fact!), but as I say it seems to have come round very fast. I suppose that it helps having the time broken up into the convenient three week blocks made the time disappear.

So today was a normal morning at the chemo unit. I was due at 10.00 and left the house just after 9.30, having taken my pre-chemo anti-sickness drugs. These are the ones that disrupt all my normal bodily functions (like sleeping at night and other boring stuff like that!). I got to the hospital and fought for a parking space. It was worse today than it has been - although there was a bonus because the parking charge has been withdrawn as from the end of last year. I did see lots of men in fluorescent jackets checking cars - people seem to just park anywhere and the car park is too small, so they were sticking things on cars on the end of the rows. I don't know if it was a polite reminder or a parking charge (probably the later in fact). Anyway I got lucky (or maybe someone was watching out for me) - I saw someone getting into their car so i just hovered around waiting for them to leave.

10.00 is the first appointment of the day, so I got my favourite seat in the treatment room, and was the first patient hooked up. There are very nice volunteers that bring cups of tea or coffee, so I was set for the morning.

The treatment went as planed and I finished just before 1.00. Normally during the morning, one of the nurses comes round and books the next appointment for three weeks time. It felt good telling them this time that I didn't need to book one.

Having said that, once you are in the system they don't let go (I have an appointment tomorrow with the geneticist to discuss the possibility that my cancer is hereditary. This has implications for my brother and sister (and my parents too I suppose) as well as all my children. I will blog about that tomorrow. Also as I walked out the door, I was handed an appointment to see the oncologist in a couple of weeks time. I will blog about that when I get round to it - this one is 'just to get me into the clinic system'. Like I say, once you are in the system, you can't escape.

To be honest that is unfair. Now that I have been diagnosed I am glad that they are going to keep tabs on me, and I am glad that I don't have to worry about the cost at all. I am so thankful that we have the NHS. If we had been in the US, I would probably had to have sold one of the cars to pay for the treatment. Those NI contributions and income tax don't seems to have been as much of a waste now. I always knew that, but it brings it home.

I can't remember if I have talked about it before, but just as I was starting the treatment and I knew what drugs I would receive, I googled them and worked out how much it would cost. I have two main drugs (I am only talking about the chemo drugs here, not the anti-sickness ones that I get at the same time), and I worked out that the cost of the treatment over the six months would be between 1200 and 14000 (depending on the dose that I received). As I say, thank goodness for the NHS.

That is enough for just now - I may write a sentence or two later, depending on how I feel and I will try to post an update tomorrow.

thank you and God bless

Graham