It should be obvious, but….

I received this today in a blog written by Microsoft employee. Have a look at the points he makes at the end - they are mostly common sense. I suppose it is a bit ironic that he received this, but it should be a timely reminder to everyone……

<snip>

I had this waiting for me on my home PC this morning.

From: Microsoft [mailto:customerservice@microsoft.com]
Sent: 10 October 2008 02:25
To: {My home account}
Subject: Security Update for OS Microsoft Windows

Dear Microsoft Customer,

Please notice that Microsoft company has recently issued a Security Update for OS Microsoft Windows. The update applies to the following OS versions:

Microsoft Windows 98, Microsoft Windows 2000, Microsoft Windows Millenium, Microsoft Windows XP, Microsoft Windows Vista.

Please notice, that present update applies to high-priority updates category. In order to help protect your computer against security threats and performance problems, we strongly recommend you to install this update.

Since public distribution of this Update through the official website http://www.microsoft.com would have result in efficient creation of a malicious software, we made a decision to issue an experimental private version of an update for all Microsoft Windows OS users.

As your computer is set to receive notifications when new updates are available, you have received this notice.

In order to start the update, please follow the step-by-step instruction:

1. Run the file, that you have received along with this message.

2. Carefully follow all the instructions you see on the screen.

If nothing changes after you have run the file, probably in the settings of your OS you have an indication to run all the updates at a background routine. In that case, at this point the upgrade of your OS will be finished.

We apologize for any inconvenience this back order may be causing you.

Thank you,

Steve Lipner

Director of Security Assurance

Microsoft Corp.

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----

Version: PGP 7.1

Now there are a number of things which jump out and say THIS IS A FAKE , notably the greeting "Dear Customer" [someone who has your email address but not your name is suspicious for starters], the grammatical errors and clumsy English the incorrect names. Also the fact that when you sign up for Windows update, Microsoft don't get your e-mail address.  I give it a plausibility rating of about 3 out 10. But this seems a good time to remind people Never, ever run executables which arrive unexpectedly by mail. Outlook has blocked executables for since about 2002 so I didn't get to see what the file was – although it was named to make it look like a valid patch.

The same rules apply to mails which tell you to go to a web site and enter information. My bank, e-bay and paypal have all said much the same thing. "If we need you to do something on-line we will send you a mail which addresses you by name, and says go to the normal web site, log on normally and then follow these steps. Anything which says dear customer, click this link and enter private information is a fake."

YOU probably know this already. By all means warn people about this specific mail, but far better to remind people you know who might be taken in of these basic rules.

<end snip>

Rights and Responsibilities

This post was supposed to be finished weeks ago and would have a brief symptoms update – I know that there are people on the edge of their seats, just waiting to hear all the gory details. If you are one of these disturbed people, skip on to the end – just don't forget to come back to this bit, to read my rant (sorry about the length by the way).

Ok, back again? This may end up being a bit of a soap box, and if you feel offended, I am sorry, but this is something that I have been turning over in my mind for a while now.

As I mentioned I was watching The Secret Millionaire on C4 – I don't know what it says about me and my TV habits but I do enjoy that show. It got me thinking about people doing good, to help other people. For those who don't lower themselves to watch this show, it involves a multi-millionaire leaving their expensive, comfort filled lifestyle and moving to some far-flung, run-down town, that they have a faint connection with. They typically move into a cheap B & B for ten days or so and then spend their time going round trying to find some worthy person or cause who they volunteer to help for a day or two, all the while getting to know the people who form the backbone of these social enterprises.

This particular episode involved a pensioner who has run a boxing club for the last forty years, a woman who takes homeless people and helps them out while they are in council B & B and also wants to set up a social housing renovation scheme and two men who help out with this scheme. All of these are worthy causes – the boxing club gives the young teenage boys somewhere to go and gives them some discipline, rather than leaving them on the streets in the evening. The social housing scheme is obvious, in a run-down seaside town (as this was) and the two blokes provided a lot of the organisation and muscle to get this off the ground (I think that is how it was anyway).

At the end of the show, they (the millionaire) typically re-visit the new friends they have made, reveal their secret (that they are actually a millionaire) and then write a large cheque for whichever club/volunteer they are visiting.

The premise of the show is that these people have no responsibility for the people they meet, but through their shared experience the millionaire forms a bond with them and helps their new friends – all very nice, and it does make entertaining, heart-warming TV.

But here is my point. My argument or more strictly, question is "Never mind Human Rights, what about Human Responsibilities?"

Society today is very aware of Human Rights. There is never a day goes past (well maybe a week) without some story in the papers or on the news about someone who is suing someone else over their Human Rights. Prisoners in jail, seem to whip out the Human Rights Act like some sort of Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card (sometimes literally) because they don't have energy saving light bulbs in their cell, or they don't have 24 hour-a-day access to a PS3 or hot and cold running women.

Why are there shows like "The Secret Millionaire"? Don't we all (and I know that I am definitely at fault here) have a Human Responsibility to look after others that are less well off than ourselves. I need to stress here that I am not just talking financially here, but inevitably money does come into it. I am talking about more than that.

Why do we see adverts on the TV for a charity running a Home for Retired Aardvarks in Outer Mongolia, when there are people here in the UK who are stuck at home because they don't have anyone to take them out, even to the supermarket, never mind to the pub for a drink.

Why do we feel it is ok to spend thousands of pounds on a bigger plasma TV or laser eye surgery or breast implants, when we neglect the people in our own streets and towns?

Why, as a society, are we hung up on the rights of a man (person) in jail (of course they do have rights), when they have, at best, completely ignored the rights of their victims and at worst maliciously destroyed the rights of the victims that they have beaten, raped or murdered. Maybe I am being obvious, but surly being murdered would be a breach of your Human Rights.

We are friends with a young man – he is a teenager, and lives in foster care. The boy that he shares a room with, also fostered, is a druggy and either spends his day smoking (sometimes cigarettes) and steeling bikes - he stole a bike to give to our friend as a birthday present- strange sense of loyalty. Our friend has no idea where this bike came from!

Let us call him Jemima to protect his identity. He was abandoned by his father when he was about five. His mother lost the plot (and her marbles) about two years ago and chucked him out of the house. His grandmother also has a history of mental illness. After two years in foster care his grandfather agreed to take him and care for him. This was acceptable both to Jemima and Social Services. Arrangements were made and all was going smoothly. Suddenly his Step-Grandmother backed out on the pretext that both his mother and (real) grandmother were mentally ill and that he may inherit this "condition" and that this may adversely affect her five-year-old (Jemima's step-uncle I suppose).

There is absolutely no reason to think that this is even likely to happen – you would be hard pushed to meet a more normally balanced teenager, considering the rejection this bloke has suffered - but this woman was selfishly thinking of herself. Of course there are two sides to every story and this is only one side of this one, so I shouldn't judge, but still…..

I think we live in a selfish society – I know I see it in myself, and try to fight the signs daily. Everything is about "Me, Me, Me!" We want the newest, biggest, loudest, shiniest thing, and it definitely has to be newer, bigger, louder or shinier than our neighbours' thing. Everything we see in the papers or on the TV says to us that "I am more important than you – so up yours, mate".

We live in an "EastEnders Culture". Everything is a drama, even buying a pint of milk. The day is not complete if you have not fallen out with someone, bad-mouthed them to everyone you meet (including the people you bad-mouthed yesterday) and had a go at them across a crowded pub. Life imitates Art and you can see this in society today.

My daughters fall out with their friends over the most trivial of incidents. This happens and the kids just need to get on with it – they will probably have forgotten about it by bed time. The parents however feel the need to get involved. More than once we have had parents phoning us up because one or other of my daughters has fallen out with their precious Jeanie. When the crime is investigated I guess that my children are at fault about 50% of the time – almost always the other parents don't get the full story from their offspring in the first place, and even fewer of them will accept the full truth when presented with it. If I find that my child is at fault then I will get them to apologise and put it right. If they are right, I encourage them to forgive their friends. But why do the parents have to be involved at all? (EastEnders!)

Here is a thought. Wouldn't life be better if we all though "You, You, You!" instead? I am not suggesting that we all become a pushover and give way to anybody who shouts louder, but there are two sides to every argument, and maybe, just maybe, the other person may be right (or more right than you) or even just less wrong.

Everything seems to have to be someones fault. The cracks in the pavement are the fault of the council, but people don't want to pay the increased council tax that pays for the upkeep. The cups in Starbucks have a warning about the temperature of the drink, in case someone gets scalded and sues the company. There are stories in the paper or on the internet about Outdoor Activity Companies going out of business because they can't afford the indemnity insurance they have to have in case some blond bimbo goes abseiling and chips her nail polish (ok, maybe that is a bit harsh).

People need to be real. If we want shiny new roads, we have to pay for them somehow. If we don't then social services has to be cut, or libraries, or care for the elderly or some other service. If you buy a coffee, it will be hot. If you go abseiling, you may get hurt. Deal with it!

People get bitter and twisted about the tiniest slight against them – all the "no win, no fee" lawyers encouraging people to sue for the smallest injustice. Things happen! Most people are just trying to get on with life, and don't mean you any ill will.

I suppose this is the point. The next time you get into an argument/dispute/discussion with a colleague/neighbour/relative, stop and think about their point of view – they could be right (unlikely, but you never know).

You could take it a step further:

You may be right this time, but why not give them what they want anyway? I would put money on the fact that you will only have been right 50% of the time, so you probably got your way when you were in the wrong at some time in the past, and it never hurts to store up some good will for the future.

The thing about this is that you have to do it gracefully - and I am not talking about Strictly Come Dancing here. Don't make a fuss about it; don't even mention it, Just Do It™.

I am a Christian and so I do take my guidance from Jesus. There is a story about a woman who commits adultery. She is about to be stoned to death for this crime. Jesus steps in and challenges the prospective stoners that they should only throw stones if they have not sinned themselves. One by one the crowd disappears until no-one is left. Maybe this story applies to each one of us too. Are you one of the crowd, about to chuck rocks at someone unfortunate enough to be caught, because don't kid yourself. The only reason that it is the other person and not you is that they were unlucky enough to be caught. Each one of us should have been in the centre of the circle for something or other.

I know this is not very coherent and I know I am not going to change the world with this post – but it would be nice to think that someone is affected by this in some small way. I am not saying that I have everything right. I see many of these things in myself every day, but I like t think that I fight them fairly successfully. Maybe I am just deluded though J

End of Rant

So here are the symptom highlights. It is the end of cycle two. I am not taking any regular medication at the moment, but I am gearing up for the start of the third cycle next week. I am due to have blood tests on Monday morning and I am back in the hospital again on Tuesday for the third Oxalyplatin drip. Last time my appointment was late and I ended up as the last patient in the unit, sitting twiddling my thumbs while the toxic liquid dripped into my veins. This time I am due in just before lunch, so hopefully I will be back home in time for Doctors after the BBC news (only joking – I watch 60 Minute Makeover on ITV, not BBC).

*** Gory bit ***

I have been troubled by the same sort of thing as last time around – my bowl doesn't know when to go and when not to, so I swing between rushing to get there in time and not going for weeks at a time (well days anyway). Apart from that I get tired still. Last Monday after swaying in the breeze as I stood in the shower I decided that work would not agree with me that day and decided to stay at home. I phoned in to work at around 8.00 and was asleep again by 8.05.

*** End gory bit ***

Update

Because of my tardiness in posting this, it is now the middle of cycle three. For more details about the end of cycle two see the intervening post. The thing I have found hardest this time is the length of time it has taken me to get over the symptoms. It has definitely taken longer. During cycle one and two I would say it too thirty six (cycle one) to forty eight hours (cycle two) to get over the pins and needles. This time is too almost a full week before they disappeared completely. I am much more tired than I have been and for longer too. The symptoms are the same; my body is just less able to fight them.

I guess that we knew that it would be this way. The drugs are cumulative, so each dose adds to the cocktail of poisons swirling around in my blood. I guess it means that Christmas will be quiet this year. The only ray of hope is that it all finishes in January. Just hold on to that thought….

Quick update

Hi everybody,

This is not the post that I promised, or rather, hinted at, last time. I am actually in the middle of another post, but have left it for the time being. I will endeavour to finish and post it, but I am aware that there are friends out there who are desperate (?) for continuing updates.

So, (we seem to have been here before), this is the end of week one in cycle three (of a total of eight). The dosage in cycle three is the same as cycle two (which was 20% lower than cycle one).

The symptoms are similar (low level nausea in the morning, pins and needles, insomnia overnight - waking each night several times to wee).

The big difference this time is the time that the symptoms have taken to subside. During cycle one and two the pins and needles disappeared after forty eight hours. This time, however, I can still feel the tail end symptoms even now, one week after the hospital treatment.

I was at the hospital last Tuesday and when I left my arm felt like it had been kicked by a horse. I wandered around the house feeling sorry for my self, clutching my arm.

I am tired most of the time, and force myself to get up and face each day. So far I have managed it, but as the mornings get darker and colder (the central heating clock was wrong this morning, so the heating was off!) it is getting more and more of a struggle.

Enough of all this now though. I will try to finish my other post in the next few days and get it on the net.

Party Animals

Hi, back again, just to let you know that I am still alive. Life goes on, just the same.


This last week has been quiet at work - when I checked I found that I still had nineteen days of holiday to take before the end of the year, so I have been takingt a few days of , I think, well earned rest - except that it wasn't restful over the weekend. Parties are kind of like buses around here - you wait ages for one and then three turn up at once!


Our very good friends Graeme and Ulupi Barnett are abandoning us - Ulupi has been acepted for teacher training in Nottingham (where her family lives) so they are due to leave this weekend. They had an open house for their friends and neighbours. We were not sure if we would be able to make it - obviously we have challanges, not least of which are hair appointments(!?!) and School Bugs. Helen had been coming down with her first cold of the year (teachers get every cold that goes around) which flaired into life on Friday evening.


Helen stayed at home, sleeping on Saturday, but the rest of us spent a lovely afternoon at the Barnetts. Ulupi is a fantastic cook and there was some great food for us. We left around 4.30, just as our replacements were arriving.


We headed back to Livingston and stopped off for some petrol. In the petrol station we met two of our other friends on the way to Natalie for her 40th birthday. I took the kids down there, with our friends following. I went back home to see how Helen was (still not well enough to go out) then joined them. There were loads of kids there this time (as Natalie and Bernard have kids, whereras Graeme and Ulupi are dinkys). More fantastic food, along with the kids having a great time, then back home.


Helen had drunk enough Day Nurse to float a battleship and just about felt up to going out, so Helen and I headed off to our third party. Helen's headmistress was having a 50th at her house, and while it wasn't quite a three line whip, it was the 'right thing' to do. In fact we had a great time again, and I met all Helens colleagues. We did leave early though, because both of us were about to fall over, and not from the drink!


On Sunday we had a lie in and then off to our final social event of the weekend, a christening for Emma McGlynn. Emma was born while I was in hospital and the McGlynns were the first people we went to see after I was released. When we went to see them we did not know how bad I was - or rather, how blessed I was - and I sat on their setee in a bit of a daze, watching Becky and Claire cuddle this new life, wondering if I would see my children hold their own babies.

Now, a couple of months and a great deal of prayer on from that Saturday morning, I have been told that my chances of seeing this are pretty much as good as any one. I guess because of this memory I have a bit of a soft spot for Emma. I haven't told anyone else that and I can't remember if John or Lindsey (her parents) read this, but I suppose someone may tell them.

Anyway, Sunday morning we were at St Peter's Caltholic Church in Livingston, at the Baptism of Emma, followed by a nice reception at the Livingston Inn.

So came the end of our party animal weekend.

Symptoms bit - if you don't want the grusome details finish now....

Still here? Ok lets get on...

I have been on my second cycle of chemo for a week now. The Ox drip was fine and the Cap tablets have been ok. I am on a slightly reduced dose this time, 1600mg instead of 2000mg last time. I have not had any particular symptoms again, in the same way as last time. There was the pins and needles effect again, but this had pretty much gone by the end of Wednesday, slightly more than 24 hours later.

One of the reasons for writing this is to help anyone else going through this in the future. I hope that this does not happen, but given that there are more than 30000 new cases of Colon Cancer in the UK each year, this is probably a bit of a forlorn hope to he honest. That being the case, I am puting in details that people perhaps would not normally talk about at polite dinner parties. Maybe that is one of the things that is wrong with life today...


Last chance to leave...............
You can't say I didn't warn you.

Last chance...

One thing I have noticed is that my bowl movements have changed. I have been waking up every night to go to pee every couple of hours, probably three times a night. At the same time I had not been to the toilet properly (rabbit droppings - enough said).

What I think was happening, was that the drugs syphon off the liquid leaving the pellets. One of the functions of the colon is to do this, and then move on the solid waste using infinitesimal muscle contractions.

One of the anti-sickness drugs (I have never mentioned them, but I have four different types and amounts to take at various time through each cycle) is the main suspect at the moment. I reckon that it is reducing the muscle spasms which cause sickness and at the same time is also reduceing the 'waste management' function.

I am watching the Secret Millionaire at the moment and I am distracted by the programme. I will not write about this at the moment - the subject is not appropriate for this post, but I guess that my next post will be on a different subject, and I want your comments on it.

I think that is enough for now,

cheers

Graham

Cold Turkey

I have been (chemo) drug free now for two days - just as I wrote that I realised how it might come across! so I thought I had better put in the "chemo" - and I thought I had better blog about it.

You will remember that I have one week in three without drugs, and this is it.

At the moment I feel a bit of a fraud - I am supposed to be going though chemo but actually I feel fine. I went to SJH last week for a one-off check up

I gave up on this post for a long time, but now I need to finish it as there is new stuff to tell. If you don't want to know the gruesome details then it is time to leave now.

We pick up the tale as I was at SJH for my check up. The took some more blood from me - they seem to do that at the drop of a hat - and went through a list of possible symptoms. They were pleased and slightly surprised that I did not have many problems. The pins and needles which lasted for two days with me seems to affect people for a couple of weeks normally, so I guess I got off lightly.

The second week of the drugs was fine and on into the drug free week. In fact I felt a bit of a fraud. People kept telling me how horrible these drugs were and I seemed to be sailing through without any particular problems. I was going to work in the morning and coming home in the afternoon and as often as not logging on during the afternoon and evening.

All of that came crashing down over the weekend though :-O

One of the possible symptoms is diarrhoea and there are strict instructions on when to call the hospital. If I have diarrhoea more than four times during the day or once overnight then I have to call the doctor, either the unit at SJH or the Western, depending on the time of day.

Well I went to bed at about 11pm on Friday but only managed to get in to bed at 1am. After that I was up as 2 am, 4 am and 6 am - suddenly I didn't feel such a fraud. I felt rotten. I had been up half the night and felt drained (literally).

I called the Western and they sent me to the Emergency GP at SJH. I was prescribed some Loperamide and told to rest. I kept having to run until about lunchtime, but then I was OK.

There were still rumblings throughout the day and apparently my stomach kept Helen awake during the night, but I was OK most of the night, until around 6.30am and then again at about 8.00. The registrar at the Western called just as I got out the shower and I was called in for observations on Sunday morning.

We dropped the kids of at church on Sunday and then threaded our way across the city. We parked in the special Chemo car park and were admitted to Ward 4.

More blood was duly taken and temperature and blood pressure, then I was shipped of for an X-ray. I was offered the option of being taken down to the x-ray in a wheelchair, but as I wasn't feeling too bad at that point we elected to walk. Sure enough It was the other side of the hospital. I did manage, but I was actually tired by the time we made it back to the ward.

We were left alone in our en suite luxury room. Helen dozed, trying to catch up on a bit of the sleep she needed. Her plans for this weekend were completely out the window - and her class were in full-time for the first time.

Eventually we needed to go and pick the kids up from church. We went out to the corridor and told the nurses that we had to go and they rushed off to get the doctor. Dr Storrie, the registrar who had seen me was waiting for the blood tests to come back from the lab.

Dr Storrie came out to see us and we explained the situation. She was just waiting for the last of the results to come back up and asked us to hang on for a minute, so we left anyway.

She did phone later that afternoon, to let me know that the results showed that I was dehydrated (which was not a surprise) but other than that I was fine.

She also phoned the next morning, just as we were getting up. I had been fine most of the night, but just at that moment I did feel the need to rush off.

Later than afternoon I got a call from the unit at SJH - news travels fast! They were tentatively allowing me to come in the next day, but the final decision would be made on the morning, by the visiting Western Consultant.

I had taken the day off work and was waiting at home the next day (this was Tuesday 2nd Sept).
Sure enough I had a call from the unit the next morning postponing the second cycle for a week. Since I was too ill to have chemo I decided to go into work.

It was a good call by the doctor, because that night (Tuesday) I was bad again.

I have to say since then there have been one or two incidents, but mostly I have been ok. I went to the GP today for the pre-chemo blood test that I have to have the day before my hospital chemo and I had a call from the SJH unit earlier this afternoon.

I am lined up for my second dose tomorrow, although it is likely to be slightly lower doses, both of the Ox drip and the Cap tablets. I am due at the hospital at 2 pm, for an afternoon session, which is not as convenient. I guess the moral of the story is to book early to avoid disappointment.

I will be taking my scarf and gloves again, so if you hear of any sightings of the Abominable Snowman in Livingston tomorrow, don't worry about it - it will just be me.

I promise not to leave it so long next time - I know there are some readers who find this almost as exciting as East Enders or Corrie (but I can't compete with Neighbours). When I read back this post (yes I do read it before I post) I see that the end does not really have anything much to do with turkeys at all!

keep smiling

Graham

Return of Count Dracula

I guess the headline from this week is that I am still here J

Actually that is not true – the headline from this week is that Dave and Libby (from Kings Church) got married. I just form a sub-plot of that, and that is the way it should be too, but more of that later.

So, anyway, the last time we met I had just survived my first dose of chemo. This was the Oxaliplatin drip, with the tingling fingers. I have to say that for that Tuesday afternoon I felt pretty grotty, and lay about on the settee feeling a bit sorry for myself. The next morning was my first dose of Capecitabine (maybe I did mention it last time). I don't think I had too many symptoms, after all. Obviously for the first couple of days I was taking some pretty powerful anti-sickness pills (although you wouldn't think so from the size of them). I was able to go to work every morning, although I do go home at lunchtime (and then log on remotely!) I have been getting tired in the afternoon and evening and my mouth does taste a bit goppy, kind of metallic – not quite bad enough to need more anti-sickness, but contributing to a general low-level grot (that is twice I have used the word grot or grotty and I will try not to repeat my self anymore).

As I mentioned, the highlight of the weekend was a trip down to Newcastle for the wedding of Dave Hill and Libby Cant. Dave works for Kings Church Edinburgh and is one of the nicest and most genuine blokes I know. Libby is just lovely and they couldn't be better for each other. Libby comes from Newcastle, so we went down there for the wedding. We decided to stay overnight and booked into a Travelodge. It wasn't posh, but then we only slept in the room.

We left at about 9.30 and I drove down the A1, listening to crackly Radio 5 Live and the coverage of the Beijing Olympics and the fantastic Super Saturday golden streak (four gold medals and a clutch of silver and bronze). We checked in to the hotel (six of us sneaking in to one room), switched on the telly and watched the reruns of the golds while we got changed.

The wedding was lovely. The church was nicely decorated and the service was really nice. Matthew Clifton-Brown prayed for the new couple and Dan Hudson spoke during the service.

After the service everyone went to the local Memorial Hall where there was some food – really nice, just as you get there without having to hang around for ages while the photos were taken. The speeches were not too long or boring – in fact they were very good, and I now have a lot to live up to! – but I suppose that I have several chances to get it right.

There was more delicious food as the evening carried on, with a Ceilidh band providing the music. I managed to have one pint, and danced twice – after that I was exhausted. We left at the end and made our way back to the hotel. We all crashed out and apart from Becky (who had to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag) slept till morning. In the morning there were more golds in Beijing and breakfast with Errol and Michelle Minnot in the Little Chef. We left and started northwards. We stopped off at Holy Isle, which is one of my favourite places. It is so peaceful and tranquil. I have always fancied staying there, just to see what it is like when the tide is in and the island is cut off.

We spent an hour or so there before going back over to the mainland. We stopped just in the mainland side of the causeway as the tide was due to come in.

If you have never been there when the tide is coming in, it is worth while doing so. The sea comes in so fast – the sand is very flat and it is easy to get caught out on the sand – Claire and Angie almost managed it, and there were a couple of people further out!

There is also always one car trying to get across at the last minute, driving across the road as the tide comes in. Sure enough, one car came back with its wheels under the water – Errol has pictures. As they drove past the crowds on the road the driver and passengers looked very sheepish. J

The journey back to Edinburgh was uneventful and we got back just at teatime.

The Hospital had asked me to go in for a quick check-up a week after the first treatment. This is the only time they need to see me, just to make sure that I am not having any seriously adverse reaction to the drugs.

I went in on Tuesday, and they immediately stuck a needle in me and proceeded to take pints of blood from me. They went through a list of symptoms and checked that I was ok. They seemed surprised that I only had the pins and needles for 48 hours. Everything seems to be ok and they sent me home with a cup of tea – in fact they offer you a cup of tea as soon as you walk through the door, even before I had seen any of the medical staff – they did the same last week, so I guess that is the way they work down there.

There is a lovely lady called Agnes, who volunteers there every Tuesday. She is a member of East Calder Church and brings in home-made cakes and stuff for patients and staff – this is lovely and just shows how much people care.

So, after a week and a half of drugs, I am doing ok. I get tired in the afternoon, particularly if I push it during the morning. I am ok if I finish by lunch time, but one day this week I stayed on till around 2.30 and I felt it later that day.

This has taken me a long time to write – I stared it much earlier this week, and I apologise for the delay. I am slightly surprised but very pleased that people are reading this to keep up to date – it is quite humbling actually.

I will post another entry soon – about Helens first week at work as a teacher.

Thanks

Graham

First treatment

Yesterday was my first chemo treatment at SJH. Helen and I arrived at about 10.00 yesterday and went down to the chemo unit. Don't remember if I have desctibed the unit - small but perfectly formed.

The unit is buzzer controlled and leads in to a comfortable waiting area, with a tv, internet, small kitchen and settees. We arrived and were given a seat and a cup of tea while I completed more paperwork. I was also given some anti-sickness pills. After about 10 minutes we were called though to the treatment area, along with about four other patients. The patients get given comfortable seats and the partners (most people had brought partners to wait with them) get normal chairs.

I was hooked up to the drip and the first one they gave me was a glucose drip - not sure why, but there you go. That lasted about 10 minutes and them they hooked up the Ox (see previous posts for full details of Ox). That takes about two hours to drip through and finally they gave me another glucose drip to flush every last drop into my system.

They kept feeding us with cups of tea, so much so that I had to get up and go to the toilet half way though, as my bladder was about to burst. All the drip machines have batteries so it is just a matter of unplugging and wheeling the stand along the corridor.

While I sat with the drip my arm was wrapped up in an electric blanket - for the full two hours, a bit odd really - to keep me warm. As the drip dripped, it felt as if my arm was filling up. By the end of it my arm felt quite odd - stiff, slightly sore and very sensitive to the cold.

After the second glucose drip we were given a large bag of drugs to take home, including the Capecitabine (the other chemo drug) and three different anti sickness drugs.

For those of you who are interested I have Granisetron and Dexamethasone to take on the day I have the Ox drip, more Dexamethasone (different dosage) to take for the three days after the drip and Domperidone to take as and when.

I am on 2000mg of the capecitabine twice a day, four lovely peach coloured tablets (I am not sure that the colour has any effect, but there you go) to be taken just after a meal, twelve hours apart - they are quite strict about that. I have to have this tice a day for fourteen days for 8 cycles. Now that works out as 224 doses and I have had my first (not that I am counting).

We left the unit at about 1.15 and drove home. Helen suggested that I drive as she would not be around for any of the other treatments (she started work today - not a happy bunny), so I drove home very gingerly, but safely. I also was wearing a pair of ski gloves and a scarf, so I was looking a bit of a pillock, standing in the entrance of SJH getting my parking ticket wearing my ski jacket and gloves and a woolly scarf - the reason I was dressed like this is described below. For those of you that I see, I will probably be wearing this sort of get-up for the couple of days after the OX drip, every third week, wednesday to friday, whenever I go outside.

Touching things is odd. One of the main side effects of the Ox is the sensitivity to cold. If I touch almost anything colder than my body, even at ambient air temperature for more than a second or two I get pings and needles in my fingers and hands. The effects appear within about two or three seconds, but dissappear just as quickly after I let go. They say that I should not go into the fridge (I did sneak in for some mik to go in my tea though).

The effects are most noticable if I tough metal, although I have noticed it touching other things too. This, along with tiredness, was the main simptom that I felt yesterday. I am not as tired today and the pins and needles are not as bad today either. The reason for the scarf is that the drug affects the nerves - hence the pins and needles, and can affect the nerves in the throat - leading to the sensation of my throat closing up and wheezing. The fix for this is to keep warm - hence scarf and gloves - drink something warm - hence the three cups of tea at the hospital - and get out of the cold.

I had a dentists appointment today, and braved the outside world, walking down to the surgery. I took my scarf, but didn't need it. I was fine walking, although the weather today is not too bad (the sun is out!)

So that was my first chemo dose. I have to go back for a one-off appointment next week, for them to check that I have not had any drastic side efects, but that should be a five minute job and I am free now for three weeks - appart form the hundreds of pills I am taking every day.

I will try to keep you up to date as I go along.

God bless,

Graham